the train wreck @ boot camp....ME

Preparation Begins....

The train wreck @ boot camp....ME.

From the day I got the role, the production team had organized everything that was need for me to prepare for the role of my character “Kody Scott”. Sunday night around 8pm I received a phone call from a guy named Keith Russell (not his real name) telling me that I had to attend boot camp @ 5am Monday morning. For the next 2 weeks straight. My first thoughts were....”boot camp..fuck off”...followed by...”5am start...why don’t you just bend me over and fuck me now”. My brain and body just don’t function that early, but knowing it was for the movie so I agreed. What I stupid fucker I am! Anyway, I had to meet him in upper Ferntree gully, the base of the Dandenong rangers at the 1000 steps. So there I was, cold, it was dark, my brain and body still in la la land when he appeared out of the darkness. Right then I knew I was fucked. I’m going to be in a world of pain. This mother fucker is a piece of work, 6ft 4 gorilla, muscles on muscles, ex drill sergeant for the army, so the thoughts I had of smashing him over the head with a rock, or running over him with my car vanished quickly because the rock would break into little pieces and my car would be trashed if it hit him. So I had to suck it up and just do what I could, or until I came up with another plan to stop him..Hahaha. So first thing was to go up and down the 1000 steps as quick as I could. This krazzy assed dude was at me the whole way up. In my face, yelling stuff at me, which I have no idea what he was saying due to the pain that had taken over.  By the time I had climbed up the 1000 steps, then all the way back down again, my legs and lungs were exploding and the coffee and redbull that I had just consumed before was now coming back out of me like a fountain. Fuck...and the training had only just began. Next was the exercise routine. 20 push ups 5 times, the same with sit ups, squats, stomach crunches, star jumps, jumping leg tucks, then do 1 of each all combined together 20 times. Then I had to lie down on the ground and only using my arms, I had to crawl 50 metres, then back again. I must admit, there was a lot of swearing from me, directed at Keith, mixed in with death threats, but he didn’t bat an eye...krazzy bastard. Once the session was over all I wanted to do was curl up and die, right there, in the forrest of the Dandenong rangers, in the cold....I really didn’t care. I couldn’t even imagine walking the 20 metres to where my car was parked. Let alone getting in the car and driving the fucking thing. But I did and all I wanted was to get home and die in bed, but my luck has never worked that way. Halfway home I got a phone call asking me to attend a meeting in Richmond. Give me a break goddamnit. Apart from the meetings, the training session went for 2 weeks straight, every fucking day. And with each day, a new plan was schemed by me to kill this krazzy, hard assed fucker, but as each day passed I knew there was no chance in completing my objective. This guy is one tough mofo. Apart from doing boot camp, I had to get in a boxing ring and spar with this fucking killing machine. Normally I have a kiss and cuddle before I’m fucked, but there was none of that here. All I could think about was all the abuse I had yelled at him and now he was shaping up to tear me apart. So there I stood, in the ring, boxing gloves on, head gear, mouth guard in, maybe a little bit of poo and wee in my pants, and on the other side, the psychotic gorilla with boxing gloves, and that was it. No head gear, no mouth guard, grunting and staring at me. FUCK. So the cheekiness takes over me and I turn around, pull my pants down and moon him. Wiggling my lilly white ass and said “come and kiss my ass”. After I woke up a minute or so later, I thought to myself, maybe that was not the right thing to do. But it did make him laugh. After 3 x 3minute rounds, I was begging for death. After the boxing session, I was off to a swimming session. A few laps but the rest of the hour was a cool down recovery session. So for 2 weeks my days were filled with boot camp, boxing and swimming, followed by a few meetings here and there. Once the 2 weeks was up, my hell was over. Although, I did manage to get a few punches in during the boxing sessions, made me feel a little better.

Coming up in the next blog....The Research starts...!